New recruits to be tested in season opener for the Vikings

Saturday will mark the official start of the 2019 – 2020 season for the Shanghai Vikings with an exciting fixture against the Shanghai Shooters, and reports out of the Vikings camp suggest the team is ready to fly out of the gates this season.

In a statement issued earlier, Coach Henrik expressed a lot of confidence in the Club, and especially in the new signings that he managed to secure.”We signed some excellent new talents this season. Guys like Hamlet, Sebastian Monster, Ole Borup and Rasmus West – they will help us a lot,” Coach shared. Shanghai Viking Media (SVM) fact-checked Coach Henrik to see whether he may have been drunk and just citing the names of his favorite Game of Thrones characters, but we can confirm that the names are in fact real. Strange.

Markus enjoys fishing and Tindering on his time off.

If the performance of the Vikings newcomers in the Season Opening Tournament is anything to go by though, Coach Henrik may not be far off in his statements.

Playing in his first matches for the Vikings, the young defender Markus Jansen earned himself the prestigious Player of the Tournament Award on the day. Markus scored the best goal of the tournament with a powerful header from outside the box, which found its way off the cross bar and into the back of the net. Some have debated though whether Markus’ header was intentional or not, so we caught up him to clear up the issue. Markus shared that “of course it was intentional! In Norway it’s completely normal to attempt headers from the halfway line. Passing, dribbling and tiki-taka is not common there, but big heads certainly are”. Markus ended the interview early as he had to check in to a nearby hotel for a casual encounter, which is something that he has done every weekend since he arrived in Shanghai. Vikings fans will be hoping that Markus can bring the same level of consistency to the pitch as he does to the beds of reasonably priced hotels around Shanghai.

Scottish newcomer Halden Fraser also had an impressive performance at the tournament. This was not surprising given the level of mud and rain on the day, which likely brought him back to his happy childhood days of drinking iron-bru and whiskey in the rain before going to school. Asked about his performance, Halden told SMV, ‘Agh no mate thas pish. I canea talk football nou. I’m a wee bit fooked as it is’. Further comments from Fraser could not be understood by SVM.

Halden is pictured here at an amusement park in Scotland, where he often goes to drink with his mates.

It remains to be seen if Vikings regulars can also bring some positive contributions to the team this season, after any have reported back to regular season training with the same worrying drinking habits that have plagued the team in recent times.

Rumors out of the Vikings Management team are that they will be seeking to separate Gustav and Mika as much as possible off the pitch after a series of unending drinking sessions in local establishments like Cottons and Cactus. It is believed they have also forced another Vikings newcomer, Alfonso Alarcon, to join them on their Sunday afternoon binges. We asked Alfonso to comment on the rumors. Not a man of many words, Alfonso replied in brief fashion “si, Gustav is loco”, before Gustav ordered him another coffee with a splash of whiskey, vodka, tequila, rum, sambuca and bai jiu.

Mika takes a rest after a long drinking session with Gustav and Alfonso.

So as another season begins, fans will be watching closely to see if the new recruits can deliver what is expected of them. The good news though, is we don’t have to wait much longer to find out.

 

Vikings! We are!

 

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Beijing
April 13 - 16, 2017

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